Friday, May 7, 2010

second draft.

Junk Food is known as unhealthy and lack of nutrients in the food (smith 2005). According to The Food Show 2005, the junk food is loaded with chemical addictives. Cook High school has slowly changed their type of food sold to a healthier food since 2001. However, their profits have dropped significantly as in 2003 their profit drops to less than $10000 compare to 2001 which they obtain more than $10000 ( school news 2005). Junk Food may give the school lots of profit but there’s more harm especially on the development and growth of the children and it also causes many problems (The Food Show 2005). In my opinion, selling of junk food should be ban in the school canteen.

One of the problems of the children consuming junk food is that it affects the children health which can lead to obesity (Tran 2005). Eating junk food will increase the kilo joule intake which leads to weight gain. Merely 50% of the children in Australia are consuming more than the recommended intake of sugar and fat (Australian Nutrition 2004). This is due to the eating habit. They can eat whatever they want (Tran 2005). The dental health of the primary children have decrease which cause by the consumption of junk food (Tran 2005).

According to the Food Show 2005, consuming junk food can also affect the children behaviour. The children behaviour can be improve if they reduce their junk food intake. The teachers have noticed tremendous improvement of discipline after the children lunch break when they don’t eat junk food (Food Show 2005). More over excessive Junk Food can cause hyperactivity and lack of focus in class (smith 2005).

Besides that, selling junk food at school causes massive litter problems. Junk Food is the major contributor of litter at school. If we ban the selling of junk food at school, it will reduce the problem (smith 2005). If the litter problems can be solved, the school can focus more on the maintenance projects that will benefit more on the schools (Food Show 2005).

Having Junk Food in schools has more harm. At school, they can be taught about the effects on junk food and the benefits of eating healthy food (Tran 2005). Thus, their eating habits can be changed (Food Show 2005). Therefore, selling of junk food should be banned at schools.

1 comment:

Sam July 09e said...

- First line lacks consistency. You have used two different structures in the same sentence. ('Junk Food is known as unhealthy and lack of nutrients in the food' change it to 'Junk food which is known as unhealthy food lacks nutrients (Smith 2005).

- In my opinion, selling of junk food should be ban in the school canteen. (This is an argumentative essay, so you have to be convincing and you have to be firm) e.g. I strongly agree that junk food should banned as it leads to health problems....

- your essay seems rather short.

- Please use examples, appropriate vocabulary to convince the reader.

Please get a print-out for the file.

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